Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Flirting with the Devil

I just smoked a cigarette. I know, I know: yuck. But it was just sitting there, lonely -- left behind by its owner -- staring at me. This was the first cigarette I have smoked since I tried to impress a girl my freshman year of college, and the second since I admitted to smoking one in the woods when I was in 5th grade. But this time there was no curiousity involved; no machismo. I just smoked it because it needed to be smoked. Because it was the only thing to do. It was taunting me. I don't know why I smoked it. I just did.

Maybe the real reason is because I'm a bit stressed. This move to Seattle was much tougher than I had thought. There I said it. I didn't want to admit it; I like to think I'm a transient dude. I relish in the thought of moving to a strange place and thriving. But I am poor. I'm overdrawn. Rent is steep. I didn't have proper time to recover from the craziness what was election work.

Seattle is great though. Its a good mix of big city and nature - there are two sets of mountain ranges to the east and west. The people are cool --open minded. I just gotta get on my feet. I just fear that this is going to slow me down on my travel ambitions. I'll find a way.