Saturday, July 19, 2008

Hopeless

It has been extremely hard to stay motivated for this project; working 10-14 hours a day, 6 days a week has done all it could to erode my motivation. The heat and humidity, beating me down day after day, has done its best as well. But the thing that has really wore me thin, that has oppressed the fragile state of my well being, is where I work: black America. (And yes there is a difference between the America you know and black America)



When speaking of the prospects for black America, Dr. Cornell West says that, "we must delve into the depths where neither liberals nor conservatives dear to tread, namely, into the murky waters of despair and dread that now flood the streets of black America. To talk about depressing statistics of unemployment, infant mortality, incarceration, teenage pregnancy, and violent crime is one thing. But to face up to the monumental eclipse of hope, the unprecedented collapse of meaning, the incredible disregard for human (especially black) like and property in much of black America is something else."



Well I have taken off my straw hat and I have seen this "eclipse of hope", this "unprecedented collapse of meaning", this nihilism first hand. I dive into these "murky waters of despair" that are the streets of black America here in Richmond - and I fear I may be drowning.



It is hard for me to see, on a daily basis, this revolving door of hopelessness. Knowing that the people I interact with know just as well as I do that there is no way out of the "hood". They are stuck there. Forever. Inadequate education, no jobs, crime rates, racism - whatever the reason, there is no escaping.



How can I blame them for their apathy, their hopelessness when they know they will be forever shackled to these streets? It doesn't matter what they do - they can stumble the streets drunk before noon or they could work their life away and they will end up in the same place. And it is knowing this and experiencing it first-hand that gets me down.



It also validates what I am doing. Hopefully registering these heirs of despair is the first step in giving them a voice. The first step in giving them a chance to be represented. The first step in giving them a glimmer of hope - and it may be the most minute glimmers of hope, but hope nonetheless - in an otherwise hopeless world.



But I'm not looking for validation. I am looking for motivation. It is this hopelessness that has weighed me down that I need to use as motivation to lift my spirits. Easier said than done.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Tattoo

Look what I did:




The memories of my Pohnpei trip are starting to fade. It was the best experience of my life, but as I get busier and busier with CVP and my Peace Corps plans, the experience begins to fade into depths of my brain. I don't want it to be something I think about every now and then. I want to remember daily, forever. So to commemorate, to remind me of my trip I tattooed the emblem of the Pohnpei flag over my heart...Well the left side of my chest anyway.


The nine stars represent my family: Mom, Dad, Josh, Ashley, Shirley, Stefaney, Dylan, Tana, and me - the most important people in my life. An ode to my family.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Whew

...The one word to sum up my life since the last post...whew. It has been crazy! I've been working lllllllloooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg hours (14 a day) and not getting much sleep (FIFA 07 addiction). I'm working today on the 4th. Whew.

But it's all okay. It's all for the cause. I will have a significant impact on who is elected as the President of the United States of America. The Commander in Chief. Arguably the most powerful man in the world. Not only will I have an impact on something so significant, but I am also giving a voice to the voiceless. A word to the speechless. An identification to the invisible. I am getting some of the most disenfranchised people involved in the political process. Contrary to the "I's" in the previous sentences, it is not about me. It really isn't.

I like Richmond so far. It reminds me a lot of Detroit in that they are trying to renovate downtown and get people moved in. There is a lot more going on here than in Detroit; its Virginia's capital.

The people I am working with are amazing.

Wow...sorry, I had some momentum building, but I can't write anymore. I am too tired. More soon (don't hold me to that).